Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Paranoid Motherfucker

Have you ever had the feeling, or need of pleasing someone else who your ABSOLUTELY sure of doesn't notice you, especially here on the interwebz? I like this guy, but I feel like I'm not cool enough or something. But then, that confuses me even more, what's the "Cool" thingg then? I'm soo screwed in the head. I'm not making any sense. I don't even know why I like him...I liked this other guy who I have absolutely no chance with. But now I like another guy, who again I have no chance with. What the fuck is wrong with me. How does one manage to be so shady? I've been researching the entire day on stuff I know he likes, but I can't seem to understand why I am? I wish us humans were made with no souls, no feelings, and no emotions. It sucks so bad, that I feel this way. And were barely friends. I feel like a little bitch or something talking about guys on my blog, but why are they so confusing? They give you the signs, then you see them talking to some other chick. Then your like, wtf? So I vowed about a month ago to absolutely stop talking to him. But we started talking again 2 weeks ago, the 2 weeks before this week, and I'm falling again. I have dreams about him almost every night and my friends don't know about him. They only know about the first guy that I had no chance with. Btw, the one before this one was a senior, smoked, and gave off this vibe that he was like a bitch. But that's a turn on. ALSO HOLY SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT, HE PLAYS THE DRUMS! Mmmmmm, I just wanted to eat him up. But my friends use to think he was, "Fugly" but I thought otherwise. Once I found out he smoked, I forced myself to lose my feelings towards him. I hate smokers. Its like, eww. Your breath stinks, your getting more retarded everyday, and idk, it's like ugh. Are you really that stupid? Throwing your life away like that? Hmmmm I wish I could just buy a blow-up doll that came with free fucking feelings. Then we could listen to music together, go to the beach, movies, and the mall. Then we'd fuck every night. Plus, this fuckerr would live with me! It could not get any better. I should stop fantasizing though about something that is literally impossible. I wish my life was like Molly Ringwald's in Pretty In Pink and Sixteen Candles. Preferrably though from Sixteen Candles. So romantic, amazing, and he was so beautiful. His cheek bones, lips, teeth, and most importantly..HIS EYES were so incredible. Well, this week has been pretty awesome since I've had no school, but I haven't really done much. Sucks to be a low-life. Your blessed to have a life. Your an angel...that reads my blog. I Appreciate it. I wanna rip my fingers off. So I can't type anymore. And I wouldn't be able to rant to my readers about my fucked up love-life. I wish I was lesbian. Girls are complicated, but it wouldn't be as hard to see the signs and make sense of them since I myself am a chick! Would any of you marry me? Please? I need someone to flaunt my cool new rings to... <3 <3 <3


"Love Me Tender, Love Me Sweet."

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