Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Paranoid Motherfucker

Have you ever had the feeling, or need of pleasing someone else who your ABSOLUTELY sure of doesn't notice you, especially here on the interwebz? I like this guy, but I feel like I'm not cool enough or something. But then, that confuses me even more, what's the "Cool" thingg then? I'm soo screwed in the head. I'm not making any sense. I don't even know why I like him...I liked this other guy who I have absolutely no chance with. But now I like another guy, who again I have no chance with. What the fuck is wrong with me. How does one manage to be so shady? I've been researching the entire day on stuff I know he likes, but I can't seem to understand why I am? I wish us humans were made with no souls, no feelings, and no emotions. It sucks so bad, that I feel this way. And were barely friends. I feel like a little bitch or something talking about guys on my blog, but why are they so confusing? They give you the signs, then you see them talking to some other chick. Then your like, wtf? So I vowed about a month ago to absolutely stop talking to him. But we started talking again 2 weeks ago, the 2 weeks before this week, and I'm falling again. I have dreams about him almost every night and my friends don't know about him. They only know about the first guy that I had no chance with. Btw, the one before this one was a senior, smoked, and gave off this vibe that he was like a bitch. But that's a turn on. ALSO HOLY SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT, HE PLAYS THE DRUMS! Mmmmmm, I just wanted to eat him up. But my friends use to think he was, "Fugly" but I thought otherwise. Once I found out he smoked, I forced myself to lose my feelings towards him. I hate smokers. Its like, eww. Your breath stinks, your getting more retarded everyday, and idk, it's like ugh. Are you really that stupid? Throwing your life away like that? Hmmmm I wish I could just buy a blow-up doll that came with free fucking feelings. Then we could listen to music together, go to the beach, movies, and the mall. Then we'd fuck every night. Plus, this fuckerr would live with me! It could not get any better. I should stop fantasizing though about something that is literally impossible. I wish my life was like Molly Ringwald's in Pretty In Pink and Sixteen Candles. Preferrably though from Sixteen Candles. So romantic, amazing, and he was so beautiful. His cheek bones, lips, teeth, and most importantly..HIS EYES were so incredible. Well, this week has been pretty awesome since I've had no school, but I haven't really done much. Sucks to be a low-life. Your blessed to have a life. Your an angel...that reads my blog. I Appreciate it. I wanna rip my fingers off. So I can't type anymore. And I wouldn't be able to rant to my readers about my fucked up love-life. I wish I was lesbian. Girls are complicated, but it wouldn't be as hard to see the signs and make sense of them since I myself am a chick! Would any of you marry me? Please? I need someone to flaunt my cool new rings to... <3 <3 <3


"Love Me Tender, Love Me Sweet."

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Shorts, Morts, They'll Never Know The Difference!

Usually, I hate Sundays, almost as much as I hate Mondays. But, today was pretty good. I went shopping, which I haven't done in 10 years. I purchased some new shoes, which I am OBSESSED with. They're kitty shoes...meow. I camerawhored them with over 10 pictures. My closet MOSTLY consists of American Apparel, but Urban and Forever play a nice role too. Hot Topic use to be ALL my closet had, but I matured and grew out of that state. But they really do have some nice jeans here and there. I think I have a pair of jeans from there, that are really comfy, soft as hell, and stretch to the last thread. I have another pair of jeans from Urban, whom I love with all my heart. All my other jeans, which I don't wear, are from Abercrombie. Anyways, here's what I bought today. Oh, and I sincerely, SINCERELY, apologize for my THUNDER THIGHS. Believe me, I hate them more than you do. Enjoy my little sweat peas.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

When I'm Sick...

I put Red Lipstick On And A Striped Fleece Vest? How creative of me. Ironically though, I bet you wouldn't have known that I was extremely sick if that wasn't the title for this post. Ahaha. I don't look anywhere close to being sick in these photos :) I smelled like mint and chocolate shavings. It's actually a lovely smell. Or was it the flowers? I'm paranoid now. I doubt it was me now...Damn you mint-chocolate smelling flowers. I want chocolaateh now.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Fin De Semana Y Vampiros, Que Que?

I got Vampire Weekend's new album "Contra" in VINYL, I'm now a CERTIFIED BAMF. Feeling like a bamf, and a vamp, and samf [what's a samf?]... I feel so warm inside. Like someone threw 3 cups of hot chocolate into my soul. Hot Chocolate is delicioso...so imagine it in the soul? Ahh, greatness. It's like yummy in my tummy, but now in my soul. I love everything outside of school. Even that little spider in my room that I saw 2 minutes ago in the corner of my room, but when I looked back it wasn't there, so now I'm paranoid about it. Even about my white socks that are black on the bottom. Even my empty water bottles. I feel..blessed. I don't think I've ever felt like that. I can't stop smiling. So far, my favorite song on this incredible album is "Cousins" not that I don't like all the other songs, I mean they fucking TICKLE MY PICKLE to the maximum of laughs, but Cousins has this little joy to it. Even though I don't like "happy songs" I like this song. The things that Vampires do to you... x] Ironically though, I hate Twilight. It violently butchered the vampire scene. <3 <3 <3

"Me And My Cousins And You And Your Cousins."

Insanium In The Cranium

MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. MY DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME. Whaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuck is goooing, on? I'm lost.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'm A Cunt? Yes, You're A Cunt

This Is An Extremely Depressive Post, So Leave Now If You Wish.
Remember..I Warned You.


I went to this stupid thing at my school where all the freshman were suppose to come. When I first heard about it, I was like ew I'm not coming. But then, one of my teachers told me there was going to be food, so I immediately changed my mind. And we went...we sat down for 1 hour in a half. So BORING. In the duration, we got this white page that was folded into 3 parts, which had all of our grades, and graduation requirements. It showed my report card for this spring. Which I haven't got yet. But I saw it now. And I've turned into a failure. I ALWAYS have straight A's. But in the last 2 report cards I had all A's except for 1 B in French. Which I knew was very easy to get up again. But turns out nope. Guess what my grades are NOW? All A's, and a motherfucking C in French. My Dad saw the paper when we got home, and immediately yelled at me. He made me feel like shit, and as if I was worthless. You don't know what C's mean in this home. You either have an A, or you FAIL. The letter grade B to my dad is a FAIL. And this time, I majorly failed. I know that to most kids my age, my report card is perfectly fine. No D's and no Fail's, it's all good. No. It's not like that for me, at all. Nor is it to my parents. School is taking over my life and I have 3 more years of this bullshit. I hate French and Math so much. You can't POSSIBLY imagine how much my hatrid for school is burning inside of me. I feel like throwing this laptop outside my window. Like, throwing myself off my balcony. Like, hole-punching my arm or stapling my French book to my head. And saying to my Dad, "You see? Do I have an A now? Are you proud of me? This is what you did to me." I feel like attaching a zipper to my forehead so I could squish everything I need to know, inside of my cranium. I want to insert a light bulb into my body so I'm always warm, happy, and bright. So it would fake what I feel. I would look bright, brilliant, cloudless, and sunny. Everything I'm not. Why am I using so many metaphors? This stupid blogging - diary crap is not making me feel better. It's actually making me feel worse. What's wrong with me? I know I have flaws, I know I'm not a genius, but don't you see I'm trying my best? DON'T YOU SEE IT? DO YOU NEED SOME 3-D GLASSES? SOME X-RAY GLASSES TO SEE THROUGH MY HEAD? MY BRAIN IS BLEEDING. It's bleeding. I don't think I'll be blogging to much anymore because I'm sure I'm going to get this taken away. So I'll talk to you soon. I feel like crying my heart out. No, I'm not an emo little bitch. Nor am I non-appreciative. It's just the way that my Dad spoke to me, It's like, if he forgot I was a human with feelings. Hopefully, I'll talk to you later. Bye. I love you. I really don't love you. But I must love someone, since no one loves me.

"Why Polish A Turd?"

Dirty Hands

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Bunnies, Ladybugs, and Nikons

The Beauty and The Beauty?

Emma Watson is single-handledly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. I would kill to meet her, look like her, work with Daniel Radcliffe, possess her clothing, and apply her accent to my English. She was beautiful and adorable in all of the Harry Potter movies. Even when she was 13 in the first movie, her untamed frizzy hair was still adorable. As we known though, she's the only one who could pull it off, with not ONE tabloid making fun of it. It's still really hard for me to believe that she's 19 years-old. She was a beauty when she was 13, and she's STILL a beauty being 19. And her clothes are amaaaaaaazzing.

"She Don't Wanna Man. She Just Wants To Dance."

Sorry Hunny, I'm In My Playhouse

Did you ever think what it would feel like to have a grown-up playhouse in your home?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Like A Fish

The thirty minute writing assignment started "Like a fish" but I was prohibited from using the words swim, water, and wet. Here's what I came up with. Let me know what you think.

Like a fish, I spent my weekend squirming and flopping about from place to place. My parents died in a car accident on the same day I was born. I never knew them. I am, of sorts, different in the head. People have been handing me off to the home of some other person. I feel estranged and out of my environment, because nobody wants me. During the accident, my brain got damaged. Dr. Lawson says that I'll recover. I don't mind though. My brain doesn't work right. I tend to repeat myself due to short term memory loss. 


Helvetica Cookies, Anyvonne?

Are you sure you do not vant some? 
Because I vould appreciate it if somevone vould eat them, vith Count Dracula and I.